Living a Fake Life?
Living a Fake Life?
But, should you fake it until you make it?
Decades ago, if anyone had told me I was living a lie, I would never have believed them. Moi? I was a spiritually seeking, eco-conscious, art major, activist. I prided myself on my honesty, integrity and persistent dedication to anything I embarked on.
Now, looking back, I was a certified, genuine, deepfake, poser. A was masquerading Big Lie.
My fakeness went beyond being nice, polite and socially appropriate. It went much deeper than that.
I was pretending to be someone I wasn’t. All. The. Time. With everyone. Especially myself.
Discovering my bogusness was the outcome of doing some inner-development work. It became painfully (and I do mean painfully) obvious that my entire life was run by fear. I was a walking, talking reactivity robot, needing to be right all the time, and hoping that someone would rescue me.
Starving for acknowledgement, everything I did was an attempt to pull the wool over everyone’s eyes. I was ruled by how I appeared to the external world, trying to prove I was smart, capable, and not at all terrified.
That fake persona coerced me to make choices based on ego rather than wisdom, neediness rather than trust, fear rather than love. My life was a ceaseless struggle with results refusing to happen. I was frustrated and hopeless most of the time.
All my going-through-the-motions was happening subconsciously; I was clueless that I was not at all the person I had made up. And no one seemed to know either.
The Unfolding
It took a while (okay, I confess years) to break through the layers of acts I had perfected. It required heavy excavation work to finally discover and accept the Real Me. Since those layers were solidified like fired clay, and I didn’t own a sledgehammer, it was the hardest thing I had ever done.
This inner journey was spurred by grasping the acute distinction between my primitive, fear-based consciousness and my higher, spiritual consciousness. Knowing that clue enabled me to discern what it felt like to be triggered, AKA pulled into fear. Eventually, I became adept at getting to the roots of why I was triggerable.
When I realized what I had been doing, who I was being, my fear-based need to prove myself began to dissolve. I started operating from a place of authentic spirituality. I became compassionate, heart-centered and always chose from love.
Since I had never felt true inner peace, it was shocking to experience what calm actually felt like. Feeling joy without the need for anything external (i.e.. chemicals, shopping sprees, Netflix, etc.) was astounding as well.
Simultaneously, I became skilled at not only hearing my intuitive knowingness but believing it. Those strong pulls and inner directives I had previously poo-pooed became my trustworthy guidance. They never led me astray. And, if it appeared I was on a dead end, there was always a Bigger Reason that would unfold. Eventually.
And, things started working in my life, oft times miraculously.
I Found Keys
Four decades ago, when I began teaching small groups some of what my own journey had taught, remarkable, unexpected information arrived. Answers to questions I had struggled with my entire life showed up. A powerful, empowering way to access and neutralize subconscious programming was spontaneously gifted to me.
This journey was spurred by being willing to see how paralyzed I was in my fear-driven narratives. They had convinced me to mistake fear for authenticity. I even labeled it so as to never forget, calling it the Joe Spiritual Act.
As I ventured to even deeper places within, I saw that everything that pushed my buttons was showing me a mirror of something I was in denial of about myself. Those reflections, although hard to admit, were exposing something I had suppressed in me, trying to act the opposite to cover up.
Like proudly acting like I cared about the world by attending anti-war demonstrations, a handy way to cover up my inner “War Mentality.”
My Rude Awakening
This coulda-had-a-V8 moment yet another challenge: Admitting the reflections I was seeing. My well-polished acts had them hidden under an even more solidified layer of clay.
However, I chose to stick with it as I dug deeper. I figured, if nothing else, mirrors provided a tool to stop, feel and look within rather than be reactive.
It might seem contradictory, but seeing mirrors enabled me to transcend the limitations and doubts that my fear-based consciousness was shoving down my throat. Mirrors pointed me in the direction I needed to go as they disclosed the lengths my subconscious programming went to disguise itself.
I felt like the Wizard of Oz being exposed as fake.
Mirrors Never Lie
Before I understood that I was living in a ‘house of mirrors,’ all I saw was drama rather than wake-up calls. All I felt was poor me rather than responsibility. All I experienced was lack rather than opportunities.
By admitting what these accurate mirrors were showing me, and digging to discover why, I could start being strong, caring and deserving for real, rather than faking it. I became patient and trusting, filled with grace and gratitude for what life presented rather than keeping my head tucked firmly in the sand.
Living from an authentic higher consciousness place, I was able to let go of needy expectations on others, society and the world. By not having to prove who I was, I opened myself to who the Universe insisted I really was and why I’m here.
A treasure trove of genuine love and compassion spurred sincere actions. I became resilient to life's ebbs and flows, maintaining serenity even in the face of adversity. Since my choices were made from soulful, intuitive wisdom, they always led to growth, even if they were challenging. I navigated life’s toughest moments from a place of acceptance rather than resistance.
The hardest part was accepting that I chose everything in my life to be a mirror to help me evolve; that everything that happens is designed to wake me up, remember what I’m here to clean up and do so.
In other words, taking full responsibility for my life.
I’ll be the first to admit that confronting those insistent mirrors requires a big shovel and some Windex. There are decades and lifetimes of “junk” in the way. But knowing that the Universe frowns on faking it, it does get easier.
And How
When you are triggered, look at it as an opportunity to face something you’re in denial of. As you dig through those layers of programmed beliefs, you will discover an authentic, unshakeable spirit within you. Those button pushers become your best teachers, helping you get to compassion, connection and gratitude. Watch as your life unfolds in ways you never imagined possible. They may even lead you toward your True Purpose.
The time is now for more of us to be inspired to help transform this world into a place of Real Love. We are all in this transformative journey together. In the grand tapestry of life, every thread interconnects; every thread counts.
Be an authentic thread.
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Ready to explore who you really are and what you are here to do? Reach out to Royce at Royce@RoyceMorales.com website is www.RoyceMorales.com.
Royce Morales is a renowned trailblazer, creator of Perfect Life Awakening, an innovative, spiritually based approach to inner transformation. Her program emerged from a lifetime of frustration searching for inner work that worked. She discovered that by locating subconscious origins of self-sabotage, from this or prior lives, neutralizing their negative influence, life can shift.
The Perfect Life Awakening courses take place remotely and are presented in small groups to provide individual attention. Royce offers private inner discovery sessions to facilitate deeper work, utilizing her proprietary spiritual clearing technique called Spiritual Cognition Integration.
Royce is the author of three books about her teachings: Want – True Love, Past Lives and Other Complications; Know: A Spiritual Wake-up Call and Back: Rebirth After Stroke, all available on Amazon.
Royce hosts “The Perfect Life Awakening Show” on Wednesdays at 9:00 a.m. PST on Om Times Media.