A Mindful Peach

Being present with the drips

I really love peaches. Almost as much as I love persimmons. Persimmons have a short season in the fall, so I grab bunches when I can. Only the crispy ones; the others are slimy-gross.

Back to peaches. I bought some at our local farmers market last week and, at last, one was ripe and ready to devour. I sliced it in half and stood over the sink letting juicy drips fall where they may. Several minutes in a blissful peach-daze, I didn’t notice that my mind had wandered over to my to-do list. I had stopped tasting the lusciousness of my first spring peach and was already focused on my next task.

Right then, I could’ve been consuming a dripping sponge and not even notice it.

What happened? Why did I stop fully experiencing this sweet, succulent, seasonal delight? When did my mindfulness exit? And, more importantly, why?

Mindfulness is one of the latest “buzz words:” It’s encouraged by every spiritual discipline, self-development courses and even some therapies have caught onto it.

But, what is mindfulness anyway?

As I like to do, I looked it up in the dictionary. It is defined as the quality or state of being conscious or aware of something. A mental state achieved by focusing one’s awareness on the present moment while calmly acknowledging and accepting one’s feelings, thoughts and bodily sensations.

Here’s my own definition: Mindfulness means allowing yourself to fully experience what you are doing while you are doing it.

Sounds simple enough, right?

But being mindful, completely aware and present in an experience, is not always easy. Why? On the surface, distractions are blamed. Like thinking about what you have to do next, interruptions from your kids, those non-stop texts, readily yank you out of the moment.

However, the Big One doing the pulling is always fear, especially those subconscious fears you don’t recognize doing the pulling.

Sucked out of the Moment

Here’s what I say all the time to my students: The biggest regret you will have at the end of your life, or as it nears the end, is that you were not fully present. Fear had disconnected you from experiencing your life, or life in general.

It’s like finally going on a vacation somewhere you’ve longed to see your entire life, getting there and being in so much fear that you can’t even experience the wonder of this magical place. Years later looking at your photo album, it’s as if you were never there.

How sad. And we do that in life so much of the time.

I’m repeating myself since this is key: What pulls you away from fully experiencing a precious moment is always, and I repeat always, is fear.being triggered. Fear rules the show. It’s what causes you to not trust and not be authentic; to have needy expectations as to how something has to happen or has to be; and most importantly, to believe you don’t deserve to enjoy and cherish your life.

Those are the Big Ones.

Tastefully Done

My husband and I are obsessive about watching competitive cooking shows. What I like the most is when the judges get to taste what the chefs created. They take one bite, chew it slowly, mindfully and really experience the food. From that one bite they are able to give feedback, a critique and a detailed description of all the ingredients that were used. All in one bite. They never scarf down the entire plate or put it in a doggy bag for later. They are just, as Ram Das said ”being here now” with that bite of food.

Years ago, I led a retreat with a group of my students. The topic was “Addictiveness.” One of the experiential exercises I had them do was mindful eating. They were blindfolded and I put a plate of various food items in front of them. I instructed them to pick up a piece of what was on the plate, put it in their mouth and chew it slowly and mindfully. It wasn’t about seeing if they could guess what they were eating. Rather, it was about being fully present in the experience.

The realizations were fascinating. The majority noticed that they had never been fully aware of the taste of food before. Some remarked that they really felt the texture of what they were eating for the first time. Others got in touch with their food addictions, understanding that they had never given themselves permission to really enjoy food– eating was all about gulping down as much as possible, as fast as possible just to feel full or safe.

Biggest Regret

Getting ready for my son’s “Big Birthday” last year, memories swirled from when I was raising him. As a young, first-time mom, I was in a constant state of fear. Not being very conscious in those days, I didn’t recognize that fear was running me. Looking back, it was beyond obvious.

Those childhood memories brought some regrets along for the ride. Those “if only’s” followed suit.

I imagined what life would have been like if I had been a mindful mom. Would I have said some of the things I had said to him? Would I have resisted certain things about him? Tried to change things that bothered me? Would I have really listened and heard him even after saying the same thing over and over?

The answer to those questions is obvious: I would have been a completely different parent to my son. Not that I was a bad mother; rather I was just operating from programmed beliefs about parenting, the terror of having the responsibility to make sure this person survives and thrives.

Sadly, we only realize we were asleep when we wake up. We only realize we are not present when we are jarred out of our daze.

Spoken as a true and formerly proud “multi-tasker,” it can be challenging to notice when you are pulled out of the moment and consciously allow yourself to be mindful. You probably hear yourself saying but I have so much to do; I have to get to that appointment; my family needs me; my boss is looking over my shoulder; the world needs my attention. You get the idea.

Mindfulness only takes a commitment. A pinky-promise to yourself to be present, even for a moment. And turn that into a habit. Know that you deserve that moment because, as the song goes, “I close my eyes, only for a moment and the moment’s gone.” (Dust in the Wind, by Kansas).

I think I will go have another peach. This time being completely present with this succulent fruit as it drips down my face! Yummmmmm….

______________________________________________________________

Royce Morales is the creator of the Perfect Life Awakening program, a time-tested, spiritually based, multidimensional approach to inner transformation. For over four decades, her trailblazing, profound work has helped thousands discover and neutralize the subconscious origins of triggers, fears and negative, programmed beliefs about themselves. This inner journey, presented live, remotely, in small groups, can awaken authentic empowerment and the discovery of true-life purpose. Royce also works privately to facilitate deeper clearing work. She is the author of several books about her teachings (on Amazon) as well as a new series for young adult and middle grade readers (www.merlinuspublishers.co.uk).